So yeah, welcome back to the site and all.  It's been another session of not entering in any information to this blog of sorts.  I thought I would write today about a few things.  For example, I have come to work for the last 6 months, to nothing but a hassle.  GET YER BOX MODDED FOCKER.  I know what you are thinking, Sami, getting her BOX modded.  How can you mod a vag.... Umm CENSORED, but MARKUS MCGILLIKUS doesnt MOD the ladies, as much as he does an XBOX.  Here at the MSN/HELP DESK/NON SAUSGAE PARTY/ROLLY HILLS/BRICK Head Quarters, we have started the "MGXF" or better known as Mod GEG's XBOX Fund.  Mark goes around and bugs people for a dolla.  Then it goes into the fund, which then in turn once $150.00 is raised, will mod my box and enter Mark's pocket, all while he is eating a potato.  So soon, my box will be modded.

Secondly I have to put in an inside joke about the new FORD pick up truck being able to hold 5800Lbs.  They need to make a truck that can with stand 10,800 Lbs for us!!!!

Thirdly, THE FERRARI has returned.  I picked up the vehicle on Monday after noon, now it is still ruff inside, as there is no working stereo, no rearview mirror, and the tinting has not been done yet.  But it will all come together very soon.

Fourthly, Member the dude with no teeth, here's a Miracle stroy, there was this guy in the States, that was born with no arm or shins (That includes feet too) was told to his parents that he would never walk.  When he turned 2 he started walking on his look a like pig hoofs, and since then has been up hill all the way.  This guy has defied all critics, and has now beaten the World Record for 100 M sprint, lil'stump arms and electronic shins and all.  Way to go... Shows how great the Americans are.

Filthy, Here is a little EBONIC'S So you can keep up with the times.

ENGLISH - Mark is the modder of XBOX's.
EBONICS - Mark iz da modder o' XBOX' w0rd!

English - YO YO YO what is up my homey?
Ebonics - YO YO YO what iz up muh ma fuckin homey? and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah.

English - Fat people eat a lot of junk food.
Ebonics - Fat peeps eat alot o' junk chickn n` corn bread just like mammy.

English - Shes a lonely girl who needs my attention
Ebonics - Shes uh lonely ho who needs muh ma fuckin attention and shit.

WORD

P.S Hope you got the fifth joke! 

Yo yo yo Word to my bloggers.  Anyway's here again at the work department - and its a wonderful 4:07am.  I don't really know what to blog about this evening, but I do know I gotta blog something that makes people laugh and stuff.

Here is this weeks funny NEWS Stories

CHAPPAQUA, N.Y. -- A 63-year-old man was found dead in his home Sunday night after 260 lbs. of weights fell on his neck and choked him, New Castle Town Police said.

He is survived by his wife of 35 years, his mother, a daughter, a son and two brothers.

Now, Here's Greg's rendition of the Story

CHAPPAQUA, N.Y. -- A 63-year-old man was found dead in his home Sunday night after 1260 lbs. of weights fell on his neck and choked him to death, New Castle Death Police said.  Coroner report indicated that the choking was instigated by the constant nagging of the infamous Verizon "Can you hear me now?" commercial's, and his wife.

He is survived by his dead wife of 65 years, his mother, a daughter, a son and twenty-two brothers.



PEACE OUT and CHEERS

G

Diamonds, Hearts, Spades, and Clubs BABY!!!!!!!!  What more can I say, the D.R.E and I hit up the Western Fair Charity Casino on Friday afternoon.  Ran into a whole bunch o' teletechers.  McGill and Warren were there, and as well some bald headed guy from Teletech was playing the black jack tables, but none of us knew his name and we hung around him for like 2 hours.  Anyway's Mcgill and I are standing waiting on the 32 person list for 5 - 10 Hold'em table, when two guys walk in.  Picture this, GUY #1 = 6 foot even, blue jeans, sean paul sweatter, FAKE rayban sun glasses like the ones Goose wore in TOP GUN (How do I know that they are fake? I will tell you later) Wearing a KANGOL hat, but not a baseball style or old man style, but more like a 1990's hit TV chick, BLOSSOM style hat, and listening to his Radio Shack head set. GUY #2 - About 5 foot 9 inches tall, white blonde hair, yes he was looking like an Albino, dressed alright.  He seemed like the bitch in the relationship.  Anyway's Mark looks at me and say's "Dude you so gotta blog about them".  Well here I am, later in the day I am still waiting for a table, McGill and Warren already on tables, they open a new table for us.  And sure enough Albino and GOOSE were at my table, along with a few other people that looked intimidating.  First of all let me start off by saying that we were at a charity casino, not the WSOP. You dont need your sunglasses and you dont need your head phones at these tables.  You are playing for $5 - $10 hands not all-in $540,000.00 hands  OKAY.  Anyway's the afternoon wore on and so did the night. I cam close to locing all my money, down to my last $10 bucks went all in and won a $90 pot, that kept me alive.  It got tight and good old GOOSE was told to take off his head set, and to my surprise I was told that McGill ratted the poor loser out.  He was devistated that he cannot listen to his CHOPIN piano cd. "What, I gotta take em off?  They can wear them on TV".  IS THIS TV RETARD?? TAKE EM OFF.  Finally he gave in and sulked with a big fat bottom lip : ))  <----- Something like that.
Later in the night, it got better, and when I say better I mean awsome, Goose, got a full house and got so excited that he flopped his cards down real fast and the lens popped outta his glasses.  I don't think I have ever laughed at someone at a poker tbale, but this time I couldn't hold it back.  Eventually he got knocked out by a higher flush.  Which leaves us with his side kick ALBINO.  Now, my fiancee plays better poker then him, I could teach a young Somolian quadrapolegic to swim better than this kid could play poker.  There were so may times when he would call and re-raise us with nothing in his hand I mean like a pair of 3's on board, I had a 3 A suited and he is raising me $20 dollas... SURE.. thanks for your money.  One hand he went in on 2 - 7 not suited (The worst hand in poker) and only had a pair of 2's.  He was then destroyed by a full house (UNCLE JESSE in my terms) and left as well sulking.  I guess if you think you are a good poker player, you need to get destroyed to learn what you can improve on, and by no means am I saying that I am an amazing player and all, cause I have been destroyed and schooled before as well.  But cmon, go rent a poker movie, like ROUNDERS, and try and learn a few things.  NEVER EVER play 2 - 7 off suited or suited EVER or you will lose that $150.00 You sat down with. 

I know that you are thinking about how this BLOG was not so funny this time around, but still it made me mad about how you go in there and just go all nuts thinking you are a PRO cause you got a hat and sunglasses. I think that you are a weak player if you wear sunglasses.

I AM MAD - EOB

You know, I am back on the over night shift here again, and I havent laughed this hard in about 7 months.  BRAD you know what I am talking about.  Anyway's let me pass on a few things that got us laughing so hard that Mark dribbled in his sponge bob square pant boxers.  In the last 2 day's I have laughed so hard that I have had several issues in my abdomin.  Although, what we have done to make us laugh so hard would be impossible to explain to you with out you seeing it in real life, I will summerize the issues with few words as possible.

Long distance runner who doesn't stop smiling, then I look again, he has no LIPS.  Could you imagine what kind of childhood he went thru?  Picture this, first day of grade 9, "Okay Bobby, smile for your student picture".... or Christmas time "What would you like from Santa little boy?" Bobby: LIPS...Or could you imagine... trying to play the harmonica, or the Tuba? Your alphabet would only include the letters - ACDEGHIJKLNOQRSTUVXYZ ( Try saying the letters that are missing with out moving your LIPS).  The worst thing in the world would be when your Great Grandmother had entered you into the state wide, whistling competition.  Do you think he could get a cold sore? He treid once to grow a mustache on his upper li.... no wait he couldnt.  When he went thru his rebelious teenage stage he had his jaw bone pierced.  Anyway's I got nothing left about this guy, but he did win the gold medal in the paralympics a few years ago.  All the power to BOBBY, keep your head up and keep a smile on your face.

Well I hope I did make some one laugh somewhere on this blog.. I try real hard.

So yeah, I know I havent posted in a long time, this was like the fad of overnights way back in the day of THE CUBE.  Unfortunatly the cube has lost a side and no longer has a SQUIRE.  For those who just said outloud, he spelt "SQUARE" wrong, go back to reading something else.  Anyways, life has changed alot in the World of GREG.  The Greg club and spatula city was destroyed by a horrible plastic fire.  We are selling discounted hardened blobs of plastic at half price, so just ask.  So let me tell you a little of what has happened to the company.  As many of you remember there was "The Greg Club", many of you had some spatula's that were super modified, (All hail Spatula McGill - the super spat). Anyway's one dark and not so stormy night, I left the Greg Club HQ's, drove home to the back up GREG CLUB HQ2, made it home in 4.6 seconds.  I would have been home a little quicker, but the Ferrari horse was running out of horse power. I parked the white Ferrari in the drive, locked the doors, and kissed the hood good night.  Walked in the house, pulled one off... wait... wrong story.  Anyway's walked inside, cleaned my HQ office, and then fell asleep. "CLICK" I awoke fast, like a small Ethiopian child to the sound of a grain of rice hitting the ground, six tribes over.  My initial thought was, who's pulling the trigger.  I got outta my make shift, Spatula hammock, to realize that there were some noises coming from outside the HQ2. "Quick, Hurry" said the voices, not know what was going on, I looked down at the Betty Boop fishnet stocking leg clock/swiss army lava lamp, 3:30am. Hmm, who's here, I peered out the basement window thru the freshly cut Horse plant sculpture, to see 2 dark dressed punks.  Lets call these punks..... Punk 1 = Lefty , PUNK 2 = Righty.  Okay, so again I look thru the studs legs to see lefty and righty, had broken into the Ferrari.  I snapped, and didnt know what to do.  I turned the light on, to get a closer look.  Both people dressed in black had popped the lock on the passenger side door, one kid was in the car ripping out my stereo speakers, THATS WHEN I LOST IT.  And the kids heard me, SHIT, they took off, I grabbed the phone to call, 911 and then hesitated, fond memories of a high school english teacher ( MILF), bending over in front of me with out any pan... never mind another stroy.  Anyways, the kids hightailed it outta there and there was no way in hell I could have caught them at all.  So I called "The Greg Club" Secratary, Here's how the conversation went, "If you are calling for a red head, please press two, for a blonde, press 3" Ummm yeah forget that last part there.  Anyway's so I was tellher about how I found the punks breaking into my car, when I was about to hang up and and say that I was going to go inspect the damage, when I noticed that there was a red glowing light.  Thinking to myself, how and why did they start a red light distrcit in the Ferrari?? But then outta know where, APOCOLYPSE NOW.. DA DA DA DA DA DA AD DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA.  THE FERRARI WAS ON FIRE - I hung up on the wife to be, and called 911.  "Fire and Police Please" they told me that they will be there quick, 2 min go by, and the fire department calls back, " Are you in the car?" I told them NO.... okay CLICK.... 1 min goes by, Fire department calls back: "is the car in the garage?" NO  - CLICK. Then they show up, extinguish the Ferrari, and then the Police show up, then the K9 unit, followed by the Forensics department in the morning, to finger print the melted dash,  but to the water damage, no prints.  So yeah, the Ferrari now looks like burnt frosted pop tart.  Anyway's the insurance company is the next step, so many funny stories there but for now... I must stop, I will write again later or tomorrow night.

You knwo what, all I had to listen to for the last few weeks were the Canaidens are gonna choke, they suck, oh they cant score... BLAH BLAH BLAH.... Well they did it, they came back and won it in 7.  Everyone said they couldn't do it, but they fooled even the toughest critics.  Thanks a million to the best hockey team ever, The Montreal Canadiens.  But you know what is the funiest thing ever is that, 99% of the bantering came from people that are in Love with the Maple Leafs... well now that my team is in the next round and your team is now playing the 7th game of thier series, you cant handle the remarks.  Stop crying you little fools, just except that your crappy team has not won since '67, and the fact that the Argentinian bob sled team has a better chance of winning the Stanley Cup.  Anyway's I am sure the leafs will make it to the next round, but stop your crying, LOSERS.

Greg

Yeah I know its Monday's but what can you do I got the case of the Sunday night / Monday mornings.  Yup Yup I do.  So the new shift starts today - so all you peple who wanna know I work monday to friday 4:15pm to 1:00 am - not sure for how much longer and such but its all good.  So I sit here on my last over night shift... I look to my left and yup Rick has the night off, I look to my right... no one sits there... no one behind me no one near me... seems as though I am the only person that is looking after the entire United states for my department.  Its all good I guess... so the week end is over and I didnt do too much.  I blew the dust off the golf clubs, Sami, David and I went to the Adelaide G&MGC  ( Golf and Mini Golf Club).  Man am I rusty, but then again it has only been like 6 months of no golfing.  I watched the most amazing NHL playoffs this week, Toronto had a few good games, but MONTREAL has tied the series 3 - 3 with Boston and are playing tonight (MONDAY NIGHT 7pm et) GO HABS GO. - - So the road trip that I was planning is a go ... we are driving to Detroit to watch the Tigers take on the Seattle Mariners.  We are sitting in section 124 row 31 - that translates to roughly 31 rows up and just off to the side of home plate..... Look to be great tickets and great seats.  Fllowed by another drive and we are going golfing the following day possibly in Cleveland Ohio or somewhere in Michigan.  I will for sure be taking so pictures with the DIGI cam and posting them for those of you who want to take a gander.  Sami and I went rollerblading this weekend, had to dig those out of the winter closet.  Yeah not a hellof a lot left to write..  I will write again soon.

So it looks like I am going on a road trip.  Me and the buddy DRE are taking a road trip to the great United States of America - although its not all the great and mighty. Anyways, we are planning on going to Cleveland to watch a baseball game and as well shoot a round of golf, and then travel to either Cincinnati or Detroit and watch another baseball game.  Sounds like a good time and all... and I am excited for this, I mean its a road trip and it is well needed, and so does DRE - Who is getting his BA in a few weeks.  CONGRATS!!!!!! Its a well deserved vaction for you! Anyways not much is new, sitting here play nickle and dime crazy eights, I suck and am losing. Since it is Tuesday now, my week is half over.  This again to you my peeps is the last week of the shift. 
 - On another note - THE BUBBA CUP is returning this up MAY 8th I beleive... according to the Albatross.  If you are interested,  in playing or even wanting to know what it is - ( ROAD HOCKEY ) for the ("BUBBA^© " CUP^®) copy right of Labbats and AL.  Anyways its a good road hockey tournament of 4 on 4 hockey with a goalie. Probably the best fun you can have on a tennis court.
 - Shane K got him self his new PAD with Brandi.  Shane will be holding many poker nights up and coming, so be sure to bring some furnature. Just Kidding Shane......

 - Well seems as though its my turn to shuffle the deck.

CHEERS - G ^{to the} R ^{to the} E ^{to the} G.

Yeah so I may have my hopes set high but the mighty Montreal Canadiens have taken game 3. So the Easter rush is over - 4 Easter dinners in 3 days, hardly any sleep and back at work now.  Had dinner with Sam's, dad's side.  Found out that we got MAY 24 APPROVED, and we be camping.  Derrick got his long awaited tattoo, nice band running arround his arm.  Made me jealous, but what can you do when you gotta save for a weeding.  Thats fast approaching and I am getting anxious for the day.  I think that I have found my groomsmen and my bestman for the big day.  Sami and I seem to be tettering back and forth on what we really want for a wedding and such. We are always getting new ideas and our tastes keep on changing. YES DEAR... seems to be the favorite words for me latly, now I do say that lightly as it is all in good fun.  We had Easter lunch/dinner at Deb's, was as always the entertaining crowd, Uncle Paul and the new outstanding watch, they also got a new adopted baby, very cute.  Most of the gang was there, although this year, my family did not attend.  I got home to another family dinner, both sides pounding back a turkey and the stuffin.... and to my surprise the Easter bunny came by and left me a few treats to gain some more weight.  I think I got about 45 min of sleep before work, so I just sent out the B-RAD for a XL Triple Triple Timmies and some sugar coated timbits.  Yes more fat to add to my collection.  I wanna get away from this place soon, I have applied for some time off - to go to the cottage - rocking out on the beach and playing golf... thats the life.  But I think that my great friend Ander and I are looking towards a road trip and all, I would like to go to the US and play some golf with him for like a day or two.  I think we would have a blast and such.  I was thinking North Carolina or South... I am not sure which one has better courses... but that thing we call the internet will be helping me out alot. So Andre if you do ready this... lets start planning and such.  Well I am starting to fade off, my coffee is not here yet and I need something else to keep me busy....catch you all later...

Peace.

Well what a night, LEAF'S LOST, well brad they may have scored a few goals but they lost.  Anyways I didnt do to much tonight, watched the game and kept the downloading alive. This morning I went to Masonville mall and bought a few things.  Got me some blank media so I can finally burn all my shit to disc. Came home and fell asleep, and then woke up to the family leaving me the house for a few hours.  Woke up in a few hours they were home, CRAP.  And I am about to sit down and watch "Dont be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood" Yeah what a funny ghetto movie. Anyways I am out for thie night have a good easter and I will catch you later.

Cheers